Picked up a hottie from an unloved job and got sex in gratitude

Honey, I googled how to come from a massage. Why don't we give it a shot?

Every time I pick up a T-shirt, all the issues resolve themselves

You suck at Dota — I'm going to check you suck a dick

Gave an old iPhone as a Christmas present and had to suck it up like a new one

I didn't expect the walk to end in a fucking blowjob by the sea

I called the programmer and didn't get dressed — of course, he fell for it!