I asked my friend to check on the guy and she went straight for the penis

"Here's the money, take your clothes off. Just keep in mind, I want to go without a condom."

You can't spank your wife, you can't put your finger up her ass... I'll call a whore

Since my brother saw everything, let him blow off steam and his sperm with it

I came to cheer up my brother, but I didn't cheer him up, I cheered up his dick

I'm going to strangle the baby a little bit so she doesn't scare the neighbors with her moans

She burst into the house and took her clothes off — how long has it been since she got laid?

I can clean the apartment myself — I call the maids in for sex

We finally moved out of our parents' house and can fuck whenever we want

Oh, I'm so fucking hot! Hey you, around the corner, come here, you're gonna fuck me

The blonde can't decide what to wear on a first date

Honey, don't just sit on your dick — jerk it off with your feet first